Where do I begin what is to likely to be the most embarrassing endeavor of my existence? I guess in the middle because my life is a whirlwind of try this and try that diet. So lately I did the hcg diet and lost 20 pounds, my final weight was 128. I kept if off almost a whole month, and then came Easter. What?????? You say Easter was last week???? Why on earth am I still celebrating it then?
Following is my food confession:
I got on the scale and it tells me, "You big fat beast, you weigh 133 lbs today! Where is you self control, is it that hard to avoid stuffing your face?" Shocked into humility, I promise myself to eat perfectly again.
Yesterday my daughter BeeBop was "weekly raider", meaning she had the spotlight of the week in her first grade class. So, she got to pick a treat to bring to class. She picked donuts. Curses. I had a lot to do yesterday, which is not out of the ordinary. I meant to have my fat free greek yogurt, which I actually like, for breakfast but instead I had corn pops, my fat free milk was curdled of course so I had the twins' whole milk . We went to get the car washed and while we were waiting I had water and gum...good for me. Cayboy tried to shove a sour punch straw past my clenched lips and teeth but I wouldn't let him. HA!!! Next stop: Bashas. I walk in, and say, "OK, Kish, you had breakfast, you are NOT hungry." And then I see the sign that says "Friday special, buy 12 donuts 6 free" and actually though to myself "too bad it's not Friday" (which it was) I decide to get 28 chocolate donuts with easter sprinkles, enough for her class and teachers. Then Caleb wants one, so I let him pick one and then I think, better get one for the twins, and then, hey, I guess I can't be left out. So I have my 31 donuts and the lady says: well, you can get 5 more for free. Oh yeah! It IS friday, isn't it? Ok, lets just add 5 more to my order because heaven forbid I pass up a free donuts. Walk out of the store with 3 dozen donuts.
After showing Laura's bunny off to the class, we decide to eat lunch with her. She has her packed lunch but she goes through the line and lets Caleb buy a lunch. I don't get anything. The last thing I need is cafeteria food when I have a chocolate coconut donut waiting patiently in the car. Caleb passes up the pizza and gets a barbecue sandwich which he doesn't even eat. I can't just let it sit there, so I shovel it in, of course. Better wash it down with some strawberry milk and maybe a sip of chocolate.
After the school incident, we go home and sit at the table for a second lunch of...not salad like I planned...but chocolate donut with coconut. The twins don't eat all of their glazed so I finish it off, and Caleb eats the frosting only, so I finish that too. ARE YOU KIDDING ME KISH? Even as I do this, I hate myself. Now I have a tummy ache, so another tall glass of whole milk.
Now, with all barriers down, the junkfood just keeps on coming. I eat some jellybeans, then some skittles....oh look! some left over caramel popcorn! Pour it down the hatch! Here's a starburst. 3pm comes around and I go to pick up BeeBop. Teacher hands me an entire dozen box of chocolate donuts with pink sprinkles...apparently there were some absent kids and ooops! I also bought half a dozen too many! On the way home, I eat a donut on the sly, then my kids all have one once we get home. I go up to take a nap before work.
I woke up with the worst heartburn. Take a tums, eat some soup. Go to work....Well, soup is like 100 calories and when you have been eating donuts all day, 100 cals is just a teaser! I decide I need a sandwich around 9 pm. Yeah, a nice turkey sandwich would be good. I go down to the grill and the smell of fried food was just to much to resist. Instead of a turkey sandwich, I walk out with a BLT and fries!!!! After I get a stomach ache from that, I find a few Reeses eggs and eat them. Around 2 am it's food time again. I go down and pass up the gag inducing menudo to grab a loaded baked potato and fruit (wait! something healthy? how'd that sneak past?). The rest of the night passes without incident.
I get home this morning at about 8 am and there are still 2 donuts sitting on the counter. Old and stale by now. But that doesn't stop me! I eat them under the guise of sharing with the twins. But don't worry, I only ate the frosting. and the top of the donut. Threw the stale part out. Went to bed, slept 2 hours, woke up to the doorbell hungry again. How on earth???? So I finally made a good decision. Had a ham sandwich on one of those sandwhich thin bread thingies. No mayo, just mustard, ham and lettuce. Feels good to be back on track. As of this moment, the mean nasty scale tells me I weigh 133.7 and, strangely enough, I am not surprised.
